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I love fags
'cause I am a San Franciscan.
If you're dissing on my homos
then this censure's what you're risking
(I'm insisting on containing my temper but listen up):
you shouldn't ought to be intolerant about who queers like to fuck!
Queers like to fuck.

Fags are great, they got hundreds of uses
you can see them on TV explaining what puce is.
Abstruse is the world but very simple is the homo:
he or she is anyone who's keen to do another one more so
than the opposite, follow?
Fags are great 'cause almost every single one swallows
or so I'm led to believe, lesbians also I've heard of,
not to mention non-gender-identified spivaks seekin' nerd love,
and I've spurned just about everything there is
'cause I was born here, and here's where I live.
Here I give you this advice: love a fag today
either up close and personally, or from far away.
See fags are gay, and gay's a good adjective.
It means like happy and high, but you had to just
shy me away from the topic of my fag-love.
Something maybe that you're lackin' in? Don't get mad just
'cause you don't have such a big heart as Frontalot
you could love fags too, you already think dykes are hot.
Why not come on down to the street fair,
asses in chaps plus rough trade to meet there,
some of whom been barebacking it in back alleys for years.
Yo I promise if you visit you could meet some queers
and if you love even just one, hooray!
If you don't, well I hope you enjoyed your stay
and I hope you go on your merry way
with the chorus of my song slowly turning you gay.

I love fags
'cause I am a San Franciscan.
If you're dissing on my homos
then this censure's what you're risking
(I'm insisting on containing my temper but listen up):
you shouldn't ought to be intolerant about who queers like to fuck!
Queers like to fuck.

And you don't love fags, this much is apparent.
You're having nightmares about them every time you get your hair cut;
you stare what you suspect could be a queer man
in the eye, in the mirror, enzymes coming out your fear gland.
He's got scissors near your eardrums
might lose your hearing you don't watch it with these queer ones!
And here comes your presidential cheerleader now
so disturbed by the marriages in my home town
that he's got to take the tip top law in the land down
scribble on it: "I hate homos, big bad frown."
Put it back up, be like "What? It's better!
Y'all were with me a second ago
when I said that marriage was threatened
and it was! Under siege by these villains.
Can you believe they wanted to gang up and have children?
There'd be an army of them, teeming and thronging
tempting every American to give in to forbidden longing
and I thought that they couldn't reproduce, that was their weakness!
Now what are we gonna do? They're gonna seek just
treatment under the law, damn it that's like saying
it's okay to be gay or a lesbian! Hey man,
you can not say that. Society would crumble and fall apart."
I'll think about that on the BART
gladdening every inch of the ride
to be on the way to the where I reside
not just a place where I keep my stuff
but the spot got plenty of the kind of person that I love.

I love fags
'cause I am a San Franciscan.
If you're dissing on my homos
then this censure's what you're risking
(I'm insisting on containing my temper but listen up):
you shouldn't ought to be intolerant about who queers like to fuck!
Queers like to fuck.

I love fags. Oh, oh, oh.
I love fags. Oh, oh, oh.
I love fags. Oh, oh, oh.
I love fags. Oh, oh, oh.
I love fags. Oh, oh, oh.
I love...

Check this C major!

Comin' straight outta Stockholm, a fun boy named Lars,
Survived Loma Prieta, Mad Cow, and SARS.
I hit you with these flows like your name was Nancy Kerrigan
Here and back and there again, atypical American.
Third generation Swedish, second gen. Aussie,
Am I street enough for this? Sometimes I'm "Paranoid" like Ozzy.
See it used to be punk rock for about four years,
I played lead guitar, we dissed Britney Spears,
Amphoteric the name, Central Cali band,
Local shows, t-shirts, EP's, no plan,
Just chilling with the crew slamming power chords,
They wanted more guitars but I got bored.
I was born to rock heads and fill them too,
But did the world really need another Blink 182?
Stuck on this Earth like glue since 1982,
Cooked up my own post-modern salmagundi stew.

CHORUS
Straight outta Stockholm, lap-top rap,
American iconoclast, alien boom-bap,
Cali's my home, baby, West Coast boy,
I get more love than Helen of Troy.

Straight outta Stockholm, lap-top rap
American iconoclast, alien boom-bap,
I make rap fun, friendly, fresh and new
MC Lars in the place, yeah boy, I thought you knew!

"But... were you actually born in Stockholm, Lars?"
No, but my family on my Mom's side is Swedish-American.
"Uh... okay."

Comin' straight outta prep school, on the mike at assembly,
Class clown, straight A's, running KSPB.
Pebble Beach, sheltered high school, like a nun on Mars
The Horris was Dr. Quin, Heavyweights gave me Lars.
"So how do you spell it? Yo, what's the website?"
Is it really that hard? "Morris" with an H - alright!
And okay yo today see I'm still experimenting,
Venting & presenting never misrepresenting.
And it's not quite rap, not quite pop,
Alien hip-hop Lars punk rock,
If I make the big time I'll still sit up in my room,
My brain on the keyboard and I'll try to resume,
Such a great story that I'll always behold,
I'll look back on this when I'm 80 years old.
London, New York, UK tour, NY demo,
Tickled as can be, when I tickle you like Elmo.
So much to say, new sounds to try,
Laptop, costumes, local buzz, and why?
Don't ask me, buddy, but you're bumpin' me now!
Amalgam for the future revolution like Mao.
You're right when I grab the mike, I do what I like,
I sit with a pen by the full moon light.
Euphonic epiphany like Keat's lyre trope,
I am it, iambic's rap's last hope.
My Grandma says I have rhyme talent, and I love her.
I flow lethal, Weapon? Lyrical like Danny Glover.
I flip your paradigm manhole cover,
Mutant reptiles, surprised what you discover.
But I still like Bob Dylan more than any MC.
Most depress me, like Hepatitis B.
Reverse them like Pi when they step to me
Nine five one four one point three.

REPEAT CHORUS

I Heart Fags - MC Frontalot 3:52
Straight Outta Stockholm - MC Lars 3:12