Поиск «2 of a kind from our roots»


We inherit with our birth
A struggle for existence
Poverty, reality do or die
Until now you have ruled
But one day you'll listen
You squeezed us
Now no longer we can supply

The roots of your kind of men
Lies in the past
No big deal all is real
Depression is their fashion
Lack of cash you never had
Your life went too fast
The day will come
We will reveal our state of regression

You stick your knife
Our blood is your life

I want to see your body torn
Teach your beloved to mourn
Your wrong makes us strong
We were taught to survive
Any spark can light the fire
That will change the score
Then you'll pray outliving the day
When hatred comes alive

You stick your knife
Our gore is your life

You think that we are parasites
And we're a dangerous sort
Neglecting us, rejecting us
Condemnation
But have you realized
It's you we do support
Isn't it time for you to see
We are the nation

Wipe out the past
And start again from zero
With us you will conclude
That money was your hero
Wipe out the past
And start again from zero
With us you will conclude
That money was your hero

Poverty, reality
Poverty, reality, do or die

Desperately you accept and inject the virus of truth
The masses seek and swallows lies and saviours
Drowning and dissolving in absolutions
This is our cause of devolution, always working to burn to deform this world
This is our cause and death solution we are praising guns pointed at our heads
Rise above the disease and it's mass, or would you rather crawl in the ashes of time
Do you blindly accept the crown of thorns and your illusions that you call divine
A blessing in the form of a menace injection
Yet whores of this kind they will always thirst for more
A blessing in the form of a menace injection
Yet whores of those kind they will always thirst for more

This world will bless us with the suffering!
From the very root of this sulphur disease

New world order that feeds, and implores death world wide
Your salvation is just lies and fucking chains!

Desperately you accept and inject the virus of truth
The masses seek and swallows lies and saviours
Drowning and dissolving in absolutions

On the brink of extinction bear the burden of my knowing
Light guides the way of our hell bound faith
Omens and signs are everywhere in front of you
The new era rising so prepare for this final battles

This world will bless us with the suffering!
From the very root of it's time
It's the proof that life and death collide

Desperately you accept and inject the virus of truth
The masses seek and swallows lies and saviours
Drowning and dissolving in absolutions
On the brink of extinction bear the burden of my knowing
Light guides the way of our hell bound faith
The new era rising so prepare for this final battles

He hung on the windswept world tree
Whose roots no one knows
For nine whole days he hung there pierced
By Gugnir, his spear

Swimming in pain he peered into the depths
And cried out in agony
Reaching out he grasped the runes
Before falling back from the abyss

He gave himself unto himself
In a world of searing pain
So that we all may live our lives
By the wisdom that he gained

You doubted him, and spread their lies
Across the world, with sword in hand
You raped our souls, and stole our right
All for the words of mild-mannered man

You listened to mild-mannered god
And put your faith in deceitful words
Your powertrip was paid by blood
In kindness' name you spilled our blood

I refuse to submit
To the god you say is kind
I know what's right, and it is time
It's time to fight, and free our minds

Let me die without fear!
As I have lived without it
So shut your mouth and spare my ears
I'm fed up with all your bullshit

After a thousand years of oppression
Let the berserks rise again
Let the world hear these words once more:
"Save us oh lord, from the wrath of the Norsemen"

Our spirits were forged in snow and ice
To bend like steel forged over fire
We were not made to bend like reed
Or to turn the other cheek

He grasped the runes, they're ours to use

In 1980,
as part of a project called Word of Mouth,
I was invited, along with eleven other artists,
to go to Panape,
a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific.

The idea was that we'd sit around talking for a few days
and that the conversations would be made into a talking record.

The first night we were all really jet-lagged
but as soon as we sat down the organizers set up all these mikes
and switched on thousand white light bulbs.
And we tried our best to seem as intelligent as possible.

Television had just come to Panape a week before we arrived
and there was a strong excitement around the island
as people crowded around the few sets.

Then the day after we arrived,
in a bizarre replay of the first TV show ever broadcast to Panape,
prisoners escaped from a jail,
broke into the radio station and murdered the DJ.
Then they went off on a rampage through the jungle,
armed with lawnmower blades.

In all, four people were murdered in cold blood.
Detectives, flown in from Guam to investigate,
swarmed everywhere.
At night we stayed around in our cottages,
listening out into the jungle.

Finally the local chief
decided to hold a ceremony for the murder victims.
The artist Marina Brownovich and I went,
as representatives of our group ... to film it.
The ceremony was held in a large thatched lean-to
and most of the ceremony involved cooking beans in pits
and brewing a dark drink from roots.

The smell was overwhelming. Dogs careened around barking.
And everybody seemed to be having a fairly good time
… as funerals go.

After a few hours Marina and I were presented to the chief,
who was sitting on a raised platform above the pits.
We'd been told we couldn't turn our backs on the chief at any time
or ever be higher than he was.

So we scrambled up onto the platform with our film equipment
and sort of duck-waddled up backwards to the chief.

As a present I brought one of those Fred Flintstone cameras,
the kind where the film canister is also the body of the camera,
and I presented it to the chief.
He seemed delighted and began to click off pictures.
He wasn't advancing the film between shots,
but since we were told we shouldn't speak unless spoken to,
I wasn't able to inform him that he wasn't going to get twelve pictures,
but only one, very, very complicated one.

After a couple more hours
the chief lifted his hand,
and there was absolute silence.

All the dogs had suddenly stopped barking.
We looked around and saw the dogs.
All their throats had been simultaneously cut
and their bodies, still breathing,
pierced with rods, were turning on those spits.

The chief insisted we join in the meal
but Marina had turned green
and I asked if we could just have ours to go.

They carefully wrapped the dogs in leaves
and we carried their bodies away.

Number In The Book
No glove, no love
You've been hearing this so many times
don't you think it's time
to be a little more responsible
too many people die these days, oh
if you read the papers, check out the news
the numbers are there

every number, represents a human being
who was a father, who was a mother
a son or a daughter of this land...oh
you don't make the commitment but your body does
even if you're dead silent

chorus
you are here today, tomorrow you are gone
you don't wanna be another number in the book (x3)

in the shadows of the night
a lady from the street corner talks to a customer
money exchanges hands
that's the formality and she says
no glove, no love
you can pay me well, but it ain't worth my life
too many people die these days
if you read the papers, check out the news
the numbers are there

every number, represents a human being
who was a father, who was a mother
a son or a daughter of this land...oh
it ain't worth my life...oh


The Other Side
His name is Jackson
He lives in Jamaica
Every morning he comes down to the docks to watch the ships come and go
he's been here too long
mental slavery has not touched him one bit
he still knows his history, he knows where he comes from
that is why he believes the ocean can give him answers
about the very very far home
that he's never been to. All his life he says
I wish I was home, I wish I was in Africa (x2)
I have seen his world
I've seen the other world. I have nothing to say
I put my coat on my shoulders
as I walked away, I heard myself sing

chorus
The grass is greener on the other side
til you get there and see it for yourself (x3)

His name is Themba
He lives in Soweto
every morning he goes to the airport to watch the planes come and go
He has changed his African name to a western one
cause he doesn't know how it hurts to have a name
you can't be proud of. He hopes that one day
one of these birds of the sky can take him away
to a very very far land
running away from the very roots
that so many black people in the world
are wanting to come back. A place they call home
they wish they were home
they wish they were in Africa (x2)
I live in his world, I've seen the other world
I got nothing to say
I put my coat on my shoulders
as I walked away, I heard myself sing

Ding Ding Licky Licky Licky Bong
It seems like it only happened yesterday
now that I think about it
tears cannot bring you joy
but joy can bring you tears
even though I cry today
I will not hide it
It is for a different reason - joy
that is why I'll shout it out
for the world to hear
I say hello, hello happiness
Oh Jah, thank you
for another day, I say

Chorus
Ding ding licky licky licky bong (x3)

another tear drop falls
but I don't care
I took a wrong turn in life before
but I've paid my dues
objects in the rear view mirror
they appear closer than they are
if you don't talk the talk
don't walk the walk
if you won't please, don't tease
another lesson learned
I'm gonna shout it out again
hello, hello happiness
Oh God, thank you
for another chance
there is no future in the past
so shout it out...

Cool Down
They've been married for seventeen years
But you can see she don't trust him at all
and you can see she don't believe he's not cheating
you can't blame the poor girl
he's been a busy man
all his life, like the rest of us
one day she caught him with another girl
he said it was his mother
she caught him with another one
he said it was his sister
he's in deep water again
I don't know what he's gonna say today
but I won't be surprised
if he gets out of this one
like the other ones
cause I know, he's the Houdini
of cheaters, hear him now when he says

chorus
cool down baby, everything is under control
It doesn't matter where I get my appetite, I always eat at home (x2)

They've been married for seventeen years
but you can see he don't trust her at all
and you can see he don't believe she's not cheating
you can't blame the poor man
she's been a busy girl
all her life, like the rest of us
one day he caught her with another man
she said it was her father
he caught her with another one
she said it was her brother
I believe it is true
bird of a feather fly together
she has learned from the master
I wasn't surprised at all when I heard her say-ey

Family Ties
Ever since they were born
she was worried about their friends
even when they turned twenty five
she was worried about the company they'd keep
one day it was three in the morning
the door bell rang
she got up in a sweat
blue lights flashing everywhere
the boys in blue standing at the door
the look on their faces scared her enough
before they told her what she was always afraid of

chorus
do you know where your son/daughter is tonight
I'm afraid they won't be coming home tonight

ever since she was brought to this home
she's been cursing every woman with a child
she says they brought to this world the curse
that have stained the good name of mankind
one day it was three in the morning
the guard came running to tell us she's gone
blue lights flashing everywhere
all over again
the boys in blue, looking for her
the look on their faces
scared us enough when they told us to strengthen our family ties

chorus
do you know where your mother/father is tonight
I'm afraid they won't be coming home tonight

Divorce Party
It is not the 4th of July
but we're celebrating Mr BB and Mrs BB have decided to call it a day
after so many years, living together
they have called us here today
to witness what they call freedom from each other
they've been living in style, they wanna end it in style
they wanna end it with a bang.

chorus
divorce party, divorce party

we see them now
in the middle of the room
holding glasses so high
they not renewing their sacred vows, not at all
but they're telling everybody
what they didn't like about each other
one says, do you remember that day I said that
do you remember that day (x2) you did that
I hope our paths will never meet again

Soldier
Stand for the truth you stand alone
government will cover up
i saw a man sitting in a room
holding a gun to his head
he said man oh man
what am I gonna do
I can't change the past but I can change the future
If I pull this trigger right now, right here
everything will be overf
not a day goes by I don't see them in my dreams
not a day goes by I don't hear them screaming in my ears
begging for mercy, pleading innocent
since my heart is made up to be as cold
as the barrel of this gun I hold
I would pull the trigger anyway

chorus
I was a soldier, following instructions from a man
we have known as the general
so many medals, so many praises
nothing can take away the guilt
that I feel inside me
Government covered up every crime we committed
against human kind
not a day goes by, I don't see them in my dreams
not a day goes by, I don't hear them crying in my ears

Julie! Julie!
I heard of this guy
He lives up on the mountain
they say he mixes herbs
throws the bones, tells the future
I'm on my way right now
I wanna know about my future
with a girl named Julie

Chorus
Julie Julie Julie oh Girl (x2)

Road is hard getting up there
but they say where there's love
there'll always be a way
so Im gonna huff and puff make my way to the mountain
cause I wanna know my future with a girl named Julie

Chorus
Julie Julie Julie oh Girl (x2)

Some people call him a witch doctor
but how can he be a witch and a doctor at the same time
if she's not the right one for me
I better stop dreaming about her
I'm on my way right now
I wanna know my future with a girl named Julie

The Bully
If you know what's good for you
stay out of his way
if you have no insurance
stay out of his sight
he's a bully, from Soweto
I can tell he's looking for a fight
Look at his face
I can tell he's looking for a fight
Look at his nose, he kills for fun
He's one of those people we were warned about
so many years ago
his days gonna come
every dog has his day

chorus
sinners shall never go to heaven (x4)

if you're on the right side of the law, don't be where he is
he is wanted dead or alive
he kills for fun, stay out of his way
I can tell he's looking for a fight
Look at his face
I can tell he's looking for afight
Look at his nose
he's a bully from Soweto
In his world dog eat dog
That is how we know his day is gonna come
every dog has his day

Hero
Do you see the smiles on their faces
after you have done what you do best
do you see satisfaction on their faces
after you have blessed themw ith your gift
you don't think iit's much
but to them it means the world
they wake up in the morning and wish you were there
don't have to lie to gain their trust
you have never won a Nobel prize
they have never seen you on the TV
your little contribution makes their lives a little bit better every day

chorus
you're a hero, you're a hero

big it up, big it up
for the fireman
big it up, big it up
for the street cleaners
big it up for the man ad the woman who take care of abandonded children
big it up, big it up
for the grandmothers
who are left to take care of the children
big it up, big it up Wo!!

[spoken]
"Yo, so you know, all of a sudden, we're in front of the
restaurant and she decides she wants to leave on her own.
And I'm like "Just go!" you know? And then she,
she gotta get something out the car
she gotta do this she gotta do that...

Yo she was always trying to fight me
Kick me and bite me
I used to argue with her daily and nightly
Trying to excite me, saying shit to spite me
She said "I know it isn't another girl!" I said "It might be."
There really wasn't but I said it cause she hyped me.
I know she loved me but she act like she don't like me
And started gradually just trippin' on me slightly
All of a sudden, she stopped acting politely
I said "Just kiss me instead of trying to dis me.
'Cause when I'm gone you'll be hollering you miss me.
You should just love me instead of trying to shove me.
Try to hug me instead of trying to bug me."
She beautiful but be acting like she ugly
I know she dug me but why the hell she drug me
Through all the drama talking 'bout that she can kill me?
Be flashing on me, turn around and say "You feel me?"
I'm like "Yo, you ain't always got to grill me
You better tighten up before somebody steal me."

[CHORUS:]
Why you be acting up, why you be showing out?
Why you be talking all loud when we in the house?
What's with the attitude? Why you like to run your mouth?
I guess you really don't know what it's all about.
You gots to BOUNCE
Get your clothes and BOUNCE
Pack your bullshit and BOUNCE
Get your clothes and BOUNCE
Gimme everything and BOUNCE

She was always trying to hold me
Shape me and mold me.
I never knew and nobody ever told me
Trying to control me just because she know me
She said "If you love me like you tell me then you show me!"
I had to tell her that I dealt with her solely
It didn't matter 'cause she treated me so coldly
Tried to talk with her but she blocked it like a goalie
We was lovers before we was homies
I said support me instead of trying to short me
Outvote me or root beer float me
Misquote me or even scapegoat me
And after all that insult me?

[CHORUS]

[spoken] You know, we used to be close now you want to badmouth me
and talk to your friends all crazy about what I do...

She was always trying to clown me
Sink me or drown me
Outthink outdrink and out-of-bound me.
I used to leave but I hated when she found me
But she got to everyone in the townie
I tried to duck from the drama that surround me
It's in my blood, I'm a king you got to crown me
The way she flipped the script on me was astounding
"Who do you think about when you say who found me?"
I should have taught her everytime I fought her
I never caught her and never tried to salt her
I wonder why our relationship falter
I guess we both have the kind of life you can't alter.
People should make up instead of trying to break up
Or just break up cause that can be a wake up
And when you wake up make sure you take up
A little time so you don't make a mistake up.

[CHORUS]

Take your (keys/cat/dog/silverware/dishes/old couch) and BOUNCE

[spoken] "Yo, alright, this is done. No more, I can't argue with you..."

Woke up about 10 AM it's 65 degrees
even though it's barely March, since all winter it's been freezing
this is cause for celebration. Cause for picnics and coffee.
So I opened up my savings and grabbed a couple twenties
and it felt just like a day away from home.

Walked over to Nelson's where my bike was getting fixed.
Total damage: 34 bucks. I said, "Keep the extra six."
I'm doing well today. I came home last week with enough to live.
I rode south to grab a package 'cause our postman never rings the bell,
he only leaves a slip and sometimes he doesn't even leave a slip. He's such a dick.
Waiting in line for thirty minutes and I finally get my box.
Hold the door, they don't say thanks. I fumble with the lock
and my bike hasn't rode this well since the day I picked it up.
A Ford Explorer jumps the light and I can't really stop
and it feels like an alarm clock. I tuck and roll like in the movies
and I slide across the concrete. Everybody's all, "Oh shit!" and blood is dripping down to my feet,
but I get up and keep moving it's a busy city street.
Keep on moving. Busy street.
Ride the seven blocks to Boerum, carry my bike up two floors,
situate the crowded hallway, limp and waddle through my door,
throw the package onto my bed and start investigating sores.
The cuts are bigger than expected. I guess I shouldn't have worn shorts.

I thought about the winter. Under layers, I wouldn't bleed
drinking root beer, watching football. Oh, I never thought I'd be
in that place everyone went to but it really just took me
a couple extra years to get there though at least I did feel free
for the most part of your weekend, save the rubbing alcohol sting.
Oh, it felt just like vacation 'til I slaughtered my body.
And it's kind of fucked in Florida, skies are grey instead of blue.
I can't shrug off the awesome weather but I can surely dress my wounds.

It felt just like a vacation but still we complained until we all felt jaded and started to hate it.
felt just like a vacation but still we complained until we all felt jaded and started to hate it.

It's always fair weather,
When hep cats get together!
And every time they meet,
Here's the way you'll hear them greet ( greet! )
A hubba-hubba-hubba hello dad!

Well a hubba-hubba-hubba, I just got back!
Well a hubba-hubba-hubba, let's shoot some breeze!
Say, whatever happened to the japanese?
Hmm a hubba-hubba-hubba, haven't you heard?
A hubba-hubba-hubba, slip me the word!

I got it from a guy who was in the kno'
It was mighty smoky over tokyo!
A friend of mine in a b-29 dropped another load for luck,
As he flew away, he was heard to say:
"a hubba-hubba-hubba yuk yuk!"

Well I gotta go fishin'
That's ok, we'll give you our permission and we'll say,
A hubba-hubba-hubba, on your way!
And I will dig you later in the usa!
Ta dah dah dee dee dee ta dee dee, ta dah dah hi hi hi tee dee dee!

A hubba-hubba-hubba, I just got in!
A hubba-hubba-hubba, well give me some skin!
Well you're lookin' mighty purdy miss curly locks!
I'm the grand old girly of the bobby socks!
Hmm yuttata yuttata yuttaton you talk big!
Well I'm the fresh tomata you can't dig!
Let's have a heart to heart'a and you'll decide!
I'm a chick what's really on the solid side!

You knock me flat, you're the kind of a cat,
Makes me wanta blow my top: " ¡®till the end of time . . . " ( aaaaah! )


And if you feel that way, tell me what you say?
A hubba-hubba-hubba muk muk!

Well now you're really talkin', you're no square!
You can't be from weehawken . . .
Hmm hmm delaware!

You got a line of jive that's really zoo!
Well I'll dig you later, baby you're all root!

< instrumental break >

You're the kind of cat, wears a sharp cravat,
And you really know your stuff!

If you feel that way, tell me what you say?
A hubba-hubba-hubba ruff ruff!

A getta long a little mousy with the great big eyes,
Well if you're lookin' for a spousey,
Why you're just my size!

Mister how you love to blubber
With that knock out squawk,
Seems your lips are made of rubber
Every time you talk!

Oh no, no, no, hubba-hubba!

Yes, yes, yes, hubba-hubba!

Bop, bop, bop, hubba-hubba!
A what you kno' ( a what you kno' )
A what you say ( a what you say )
I say I'll dig you later baby in the usa!

It's always fair weather,
when hep cats get together!
And every time they meet,
here's the way you'll hear them greet ( greet! )
A hubba-hubba-hubba Hello Dad!

Well a hubba-hubba-hubba, I just got back!
Well a hubba-hubba-hubba, let's shoot some breeze!
Say, whatever happened to the Japanese?
Hmm a hubba-hubba-hubba, haven't you heard?
A hubba-hubba-hubba, slip me the word!

I got it from a guy who was in the kno'
It was mighty smoky over Tokyo!
A friend of mine in a B-29 dropped another load for luck,
As he flew away, he was heard to say:
"A hubba-hubba-hubba yuk yuk!"

Well I gotta go fishin'
That's ok, we'll give you our permission and we'll say,
A hubba-hubba-hubba, on your way!
And I will dig you later in the USA!
Ta dah dah dee dee dee ta dee dee, ta dah dah hi hi hi tee dee dee!

A hubba-hubba-hubba, I just got in!
A hubba-hubba-hubba, well give me some skin!
Well you're lookin' mighty purdy Miss Curly Locks!
I'm the grand old girly of the bobby socks!
Hmm yuttata yuttata yuttaton you talk big!
Well I'm the fresh tomata you can't dig!
Let's have a heart to heart'a and you'll decide!
I'm a chick what's really on the solid side!

You knock me flat, you're the kind of a cat,
makes me wanta blow my top: " 'till the end of time . . . " ( Aaaaah! )

And if you feel that way, tell me what you say?


A hubba-hubba-hubba muk muk!

Well now you're really talkin', you're no square!
You can't be from Weehawken . . .
Hmm hmm Delaware!

You got a line of jive that's really zoo!
Well I'll dig you later, baby you're all root!

You're the kind of cat, wears a sharp cravat,
and you really know your stuff!

If you feel that way, tell me what you say?
A hubba-hubba-hubba ruff ruff!

A getta long a little mousy with the great big eyes,
well if you're lookin' for a spousey,
why you're just my size!

Mister how you love to blubber
with that knock out squawk,
Seems your lips are made of rubber
every time you talk!

Oh no, no, no, hubba-hubba!

Yes, yes, yes, hubba-hubba!

Bop, bop, bop, hubba-hubba!
A what you kno' ( A what you kno' )
A what you say ( A what you say )
I say I'll dig you later baby in the USA!

Music by Jimmy McHugh
with lyrics by Harold Adamson. 1945

It's always fair weather,
when hep cats get together!
And every time they meet,
here's the way you'll hear them greet ( greet! )
A hubba-hubba-hubba Hello Dad!

Well a hubba-hubba-hubba, I just got back!
Well a hubba-hubba-hubba, let's shoot some breeze!
Say, whatever happened to the Japanese?
Hmm a hubba-hubba-hubba, haven't you heard?
A hubba-hubba-hubba, slip me the word!

I got it from a guy who was in the kno'
It was mighty smoky over Tokyo!
A friend of mine in a B-29 dropped another load for luck,
As he flew away, he was heard to say:
"A hubba-hubba-hubba yuk yuk!"

Well I gotta go fishin'
That's ok, we'll give you our permission and we'll say,
A hubba-hubba-hubba, on your way!
And I will dig you later in the USA!
Ta dah dah dee dee dee ta dee dee, ta dah dah hi hi hi tee dee dee!

A hubba-hubba-hubba, I just got in!
A hubba-hubba-hubba, well give me some skin!
Well you're lookin' mighty purdy Miss Curly Locks!
I'm the grand old girly of the bobby socks!
Hmm yuttata yuttata yuttaton you talk big!
Well I'm the fresh tomata you can't dig!
Let's have a heart to heart'a and you'll decide!
I'm a chick what's really on the solid side!

You knock me flat, you're the kind of a cat,
makes me wanta blow my top: " 'till the end of time . . . " ( Aaaaah! )

And if you feel that way, tell me what you say?


A hubba-hubba-hubba muk muk!

Well now you're really talkin', you're no square!
You can't be from Weehawken . . .
Hmm hmm Delaware!

You got a line of jive that's really zoo!
Well I'll dig you later, baby you're all root!

You're the kind of cat, wears a sharp cravat,
and you really know your stuff!

If you feel that way, tell me what you say?
A hubba-hubba-hubba ruff ruff!

A getta long a little mousy with the great big eyes,
well if you're lookin' for a spousey,
why you're just my size!

Mister how you love to blubber
with that knock out squawk,
Seems your lips are made of rubber
every time you talk!

Oh no, no, no, hubba-hubba!

Yes, yes, yes, hubba-hubba!

Bop, bop, bop, hubba-hubba!
A what you kno' ( A what you kno' )
A what you say ( A what you say )
I say I'll dig you later baby in the USA!

Music by Jimmy McHugh
with lyrics by Harold Adamson. 1945

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Seven o'clock in the evening
Watchin? somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says, ?Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late
What cha wanna do for dinner??

She says, "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, "Well you know, baby
I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you have in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

"But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me think
What's left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the chili okay?"
She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

I hopped up and I said, "I don't know
Do you want to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "
She's like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry callin'
For the third time today
My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you wanna do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin? in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

And then she says
"Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

I step a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"
She says, "How about The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

?I don't feel like, gettin? all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food?
She's says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

?And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt"
She says, "Just forget about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

Then I get an idea
I say, "I know what we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha tryin? to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride"

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead this time"

I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and scream
"I don't know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, "Then take our order
And we'll be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do?

?Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, don't go no further!"

"I never ordered a large root beer
I said medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a special
I super-sized you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now there?s somethin' else
That I really think you should know?

?You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru
So what would I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul
Now tell me, who's this Paul??

She says, "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off of him in Geometry?

I said, "I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer?

?He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
And then she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

Then she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's like
"Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I turn around to my wife and say
"How much have you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this I guess"
So she reaches into her purse
And busts out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says, "Oh dear
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said
"Gee, really? Well that sucks!"
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks

I said, "I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway??

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find some change"
Now the lady at the window
Is looking at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister, please
We gotta move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady
We won't be long"

So I looked around inside the glove box
And checked the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "You know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then"

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey, Eugene
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says, "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that burger
I just gotta have a bite!"

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!

Stick Your Knife - Mandator 5:52
Virus - Apostasy 5:25
Thousand Years Of Oppression - Amon Amarth 7:42
Word Of Mouth - Laurie Anderson 4:49
The Other Side - Lucky Dube 6:08
Bounce - Aceyalone 3:39
Campaign for a Better Next Weekend - Bomb the Music Industry! 4:55
A Hubba-Hubba-Hubba - Perry Como 03:04
A Hubba-Hubba-Hubba (Dig You Later) - Perry Como
A Hubba-Hubba-Hubba ( Dig You Later ) - Perry Como
Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 1) - R. Kelly 03:27
Trapped In the Closet (Chapter 9 of 12) - R. Kelly
Trapped In the Closet (Chapter 11 of 12) - R. Kelly
Trapped In the Closet (Chapter 10 of 12) - R. Kelly
Trapped In The Closet (Chapter1) - R. Kelly
Trapped In The Closet (Chapter5) - R. Kelly
Trapped In The Closet(Chapter 1) - R. Kelly
Trapped In The Closet(chapter 5) - R. Kelly
Trapped In The Closet (Chapter2) - R. Kelly
Trapped In The Closet(chapter 4) - R. Kelly
Trapped In The Closet (Chapter4) - R. Kelly
Trapped In The Closet(Chapter 3) - R. Kelly
Trapped in the Closet(Chapter 2) - R. Kelly
Trapped In The Closet (Chapter3) - R. Kelly